After Episode 5’s cliffhanger (yawn), we open to Matty placing the rose he’s holding back down, and asked Sian if they can step outside ‘for a word’.
You don’t need to be a genius to know that asking anyone ‘for a word’ never bodes well.
Matty can’t see it going anywhere between the two of them, so sends Sian packing – which he could’ve done in last night’s rose ceremony because that’s what rose ceremonies are for.
While all the girls pretend to be sad, Jen actually IS sad – I think because she’s losing allies. In her throw to camera, she says Sian would leave, but hello Jen… she didn’t leave, Matty booted her.
Then, in what is my least favourite moment of any Australian Bachelor episode ever, Matty lies to the ladies, imploring them to believe him that he isn’t being told what to do by the producers. Mate, I’m offended that you think they (and the viewing public) thinks that you are in control.
The episode’s single date card goes to Tara, who may have friend zoned herself at first meeting by calling him mate, and Matty continues the lightheartedness between them by turning up on a tandem bike. (Guys, don’t forget that Tara is the one who couldn’t remember which side of her head her tattoo is on. Never forget.) Tara shares that she hasn’t ridden a bike in years – even though she’s a nanny – so this should be great. On the upside, Tara is wearing the cutest helmet ever, I flipping love Nutcase helmets!
They ride along Sydney’s cliff top paths (hands up who thought the episode would be brightened up by a sneaky bike crash) to another harbourside mansion where they discover a kitchen stocked with ingredients to make fresh pasta from scratch. After donning aprons and kneading some dough, Tara obsesses over Matty’s butt to the point that most of Australia gets up and goes to pop the kettle on. (If this was The Bachelorette, production would grind to a halt and heads would roll.)
The girls going on the group date are Leah, Elise, Laura, Elora, Natalie and Simone. The invitation hints that it’s going to be hard to keep their feet on the ground and Simone immediately starts freaking out the possibility of the group date involving heights.
Back at the pasta-mansion, surrounded by a billion string lights in the bushes (who has time to decorate these gardens?), Matty is trying to get past Tara’s rough edges and finds that chatting about kids, partners and the difficulties of navigating tricky relationship waters brings out a more mature side.
As she’s rambling on and starting to actually open up, Matty pulls her in for a kiss.., and I holler at the TV, let her speak! A rose exchanges hands, they kiss again and Tara’s voiceover says ‘It’s rare for a man to appreciate me for me’.
Matty chooses to take the girls skydiving because it’s abnormal, scary and amazing (which is what I think of some of the ladies’ fake tans), and to push them to their limits. Simone loses her mind, and we reiterate the mantra ‘don’t tell the producers your actual fears’. When Matty sees Simones fearful reaction, he comforts her (I like this) and lets her know it’s OK not to do it (although I swear I hear a producer behind Simone whispering a contractual reminder).
As the girls hurl themselves out of a perfectly good plane, Simone hits a whole new level of screaming and sobbing terror, but bucks up and takes the leap, and earns some special one-on-one time with Matty. He raves on about her bravery (and let’s be honest, so does Simone).
We jump straight to a cocktail party, and quite a few of the ladies are wearing Camilla. If you remember, on Sam Woods’ season, Camilla sponsored a single date Camilla shopping spree for Lara, so it’s nice to see that the brand relationship is still strong.
In fine Jen-tradition, Jen complains about some other women, blah blah blah, while Elise (a surprise Hockeyroo!) sets up a sneaky fishing trip in the mansion pool, and invites Matty to fish for some info about her… a cute move!
Steph is wearing bugle beads and some sheer tulle and that’s about all; while Michelle is wearing a dress held together with what looks like a safety pin a la Liz Hurley.
While Sharlene and Laura are arguing over whether Michelle should interrupt Matty and Steph, our friend Jen swoops in like a vulture and interrupts.
Elora, Hockeyroo Elise, Simone, Alix, Florence, Laura, Steph, Lisa, Cobie, Leah, Jen, Sharlene, Michelle.
Crazy Natalie, who (unfortunately for the viewers of Australia ) really reined it in after the first evening’s wild adventures. And we got a gold ‘story of my life’ throw to camera in the limo. We never saw her at her wildest, and for this I shall be eternally disappointed.
I love Alix in this Camilla Pretty Precision short dress, and I can imagine one of my best friends rocking this in a Bachelor cocktail party for sure!