The Bachelor Recap, episode 10 and we’re in the drama kabana

Poor Jen. Two minutes into the episode and our resident villain is complaining about having no friends left in the house now Michelle has gone, but then follows it up with a reminder that she’s not here for the girls, she’s here for Matty. #canthaveyourcakeandeatittoo

Osher turns up wearing a new addition to his bomber jacket collection, and we hit a new squealing level as they girls discover that he has brought – surprise – a date card!

Tara announces that the lucky lady is Elise, and all the girls (bar Jen) get pretty jazzed for her. And even more squeal-worthy… she only has 15 minutes to get ready!

Matty picks Elise up in a double-decker bus and as they drive around Sydney, sharing memories and telling stories about local places they’ve visited and lived in, there is definitely more of a spark between them than we’ve seen in previous episodes.

Back in the Bachelor mansion, the women are lounging (elegantly as always) in the garden, with Jen and Simone complaining about being date-less AGAIN, when Leah bounds in with a group date card, inviting the girls to ‘feel like it’s Summer’.

Out on their date, Matty and Elise enjoy a postcard-perfect view next to a personalised lemonade stand (my, that props team has been busy – but thankfully, there are no fairy lights) before Matty pulls out a couple of hockey sticks and kits up a la Hannibal Lector. Of course Elise scores a couple of goals, and they get pretty close as they wrestle for the ball. Matty scores a shot, but Elise doesn’t score a kiss. What’s the go with this on-off chemistry, guys?

 

Matty and Elise load back onto the bus before heading to a boat for an evening tour of the Harbour and a spa. Yes, a spa in a boat, looking at Sydney’s lights. Normally-sensible Elise opens up to Matty about not falling for people easily, but knowing she’s on to a good thing, they kiss and a rose-exchange occurs. FINALLY.

The group date invitation hints that it’s going to be something Summery and the ladies heading to play beach games in teams to win extra time with Matty.

Stripping down to the shortest-possible denim cut-offs and some tiny bikinis and tanks, I’m curious why the girls don’t immediately force him to take his shirt off. What happened to equal opportunity objectification?  What follows is the most intense and poorly played game of ‘beach cricket with butterfly nets’ ever to be filmed, and then an even less-exciting game of thong-tossing. (That’s thongs as in flip-flops, for any non-Aussies.)

As the final game of volleyball winds up, Elise’s team (with Jen, Simone, Laura and Florence) gets more and more desperate to win. Obviously, our old mate Jen takes the beach games far more seriously than the other girls, mainly because she believes that Lisa doesn’t like Matty enough to deserve it.

After some celebratory Matty time with the winners (Lisa, Cobie, Tara and Elora), it’s time for the cocktail party in the mansion. Or is it being held in the drama kabana tonight?

Matty takes Jen for a one-on-one chat straight away, as he’s getting a weird vibe from her. (Us too, mate.) He asks how she is, and she immediately turns on the vulnerability, and the lies. Wow, she even says ‘There are girls in here who are one way in the house, and another way with you’! LIES! IT’S YOU, JEN!

She dumps gorgeous tennis-player Lisa in a huge pile of untruths, telling Matty that Lisa doesn’t even want to be here, and thinks that he is there for the wrong reasons. Of course, as soon as Matty asks her about her feelings towards him, Lisa answers like a sensible girl should, saying ‘I don’t know you well enough to know if I’m in love with you’, and ‘I think you’re here for the right reasons, to fall in love’.

After denying that she told Matty specific things – LIES, ALL LIES – Jen loses her ever-loving mind, and starts crying that she’s been cornered in the drama kabana. As Elise, Tara and Cobie question her, she really starts feeling sorry for herself.

My favourite throw to camera all night is Jen, stating sincerely that she’s above ‘mean girls’ and she graduated high school ages ago.  A khaki-clad producer tries to persuade Jen to stay and create a few more ripples in the pond before leaving, but she sneaks off, walking down the driveway in her cocktail dress and heels, dragging her suitcase behind her.

TV GOLD.

Style pick:

Elise is a big winner tonight, wearing this this gorgeous flippy little wrap dress from Winona.

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